By: Alex DeWoskin, LCSW
Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.” – Abraham Lincoln
Do you tend to see the glass as half empty or half full? Your answer relates directly to the concept of positive thinking and whether you have a positive or negative outlook on life. Positive psychology focuses on how to help people prosper and lead healthy, happy lives because it is centered on helping people become happier and changing perspectives.
Positive thinking means approaching life’s challenges with a positive outlook, not necessarily avoiding or ignoring the bad things. Instead, it involves making the most of the potentially bad situations, trying to see the best in other people, and viewing yourself and your abilities in a positive light.
The effects of positive thinking are can lead to happiness, optimism, mindfulness, hope, and resilience. This is something I try to share with my Chicago clients as a therapist in Lakeview.
According to the Mayo Clinic, positive thinking and optimistic attitudes is linked to a wide range of health benefits including:
- Longer life span
- Less stress
- Lower rates of depression
- Increased immunity and resistance to the common cold
- Better stress management and coping skills
- Lower risk of cardiovascular disease-related death
- Increased physical well-being
- Better psychological health and mental well-being.
People who think positively tend to live healthier lives in general; they may exercise more, follow a more nutritious diet and avoid unhealthy behaviors. People tend to be more resilient, enjoy healthier relationships, and have more change of success in endeavors. In addition, having a positive attitude makes you more creative and problem solve more effectively.
Negativity tends to narrow your mind. Your brain closes off from the outside world, limits your options, and focuses on the negative emotions of fear, anger, and stress. But, when you are experiencing positive emotions like joy, contentment, and love, your mind will be more option to options and possibilities.
There is a compounding effect or an “upward spiral” that occurs with happy people. They are happy, so they develop new skills, those skills lead to new success, which results in more happiness, and the process repeats itself. Feeling happier and more positive will enhance your wellbeing and make you feel more satisfied with your life and your purpose within it.
Your explanatory style, or how you explain events, is linked to whether you are an optimist or a pessimist. Optimists tend to attribute good things that happen to their own skill and effort. Pessimists, on the other hand, usually credit these good events to outside forces.
People with an optimistic explanatory tend to see negative events as temporary and atypical and outside of their control. On the other hand, individuals with a pessimistic explanatory style often blame themselves when bad things happen and fail to give themselves adequate credit for successful outcomes. They also have a tendency to view negative events as common, expected and lasting. As you can imagine, blaming yourself for events outside of your control or viewing these unfortunate events as a persistent part of your life can have a detrimental impact on your state of mind.
First and most important step for change is to notice the problem. Focus on your own inner monologue and to pay attention to your self-talk. Self-talk is the inner voice inside your mind that analyzes how you perform and interact with the world around you.
One way to break the pattern is to pay attention and start noticing when you have these thoughts and then actively work to change them, take a moment to pause and assess. Start looking for ways to change your thought patterns and reframe your interpretations of your own behaviors.
Or try a thought stopping method, for example, mentally tell yourself to “Stop” or snap a rubber band on your wrist to literally snap yourself out of the negative loop. Sometimes writing down these thoughts can be a way of distancing yourself from them. Replace negative thoughts with something more positive. Strive to say at least three positive thoughts about yourself each day. Use positive words when you talk to yourself.
If you want to change your attitude from “I can’t do this” or “I’m going to fail”, say, “I’ve got this” or “I’m going to do great”, instead.
Learning to think positively is like strengthening a muscle; the more you use it, the stronger it will become. The more you practice, the easier it will be for these thoughts to become second nature. Investing energy in things you enjoy and surrounding yourself with optimistic people are just two ways that you can encourage positive thinking in your life.
Even if you are not a natural-born optimist, there are daily things you can do help you to learn how to think positive and become a positive thinker.
1. Have a Morning Routine. How you start your morning sets the tone for the rest of the day. Having an attitude boosting morning can start the day off right and carry through your day.
2. Be Happy First. Instead of waiting for external things to make you happy, be happy and then watch how that influences the things that go on around you. Happiness is an attitude, not a situation.
3. Look for the Positives and See the Bigger Picture. What we look for is what we tend to see. Instead of looking for an outcome that is negative or some flaw, look for something positive that can be beneficial or add to your life. By shifting to a search for happiness, you can create it.
4. Relish Small Pleasures. Big pleasures come too infrequently. Life is made up of tiny victories and simple pleasures. Acknowledge and appreciate them.
5 Upload Positivity to Your Brain. Read books with a positive message, listen to music with uplifting lyrics, and watch optimistic movies.
6 Take Responsibility. At any moment your attitude can be that of a victim or survivor. Know that you create your life, are responsible for yourself, and can change your own destiny.
7 Have a Zen Attitude. Think of life not as something that’s happening to you, but as something that’s happening for you. Look at any challenging situation, person, or event as a teacher that’s been brought into your life to teach you something. The next time you find yourself thinking, “Why is this happening to me?” Ask yourself, “What am I supposed to learn or gain from this”? or “How will this help me grow and become a better, more enlightened being?”
8. Be Proactive. A reactive person allows others and external events to determine how they will feel. Be proactive by choosing your attitude and maintaining it throughout the day, regardless of what the day may bring.
9. Have a Purpose. Having a purpose in life gives you a fixed point in the horizon to focus on. Bringing meaning and purpose into your life—knowing why you are here—will do wonders for your attitude.
10. Focus on the Good. It’s up to us to decide which things, the positive or the negative, we want to focus on. Focus on the good in yourself, the good in your life, and the good in others.
11. Stop Expecting Life to Be Easy. Know that sometimes things won’t be easy, and adopt the attitude that you have what it takes to deal with anything that life throws at you. Know you’re brave and resourceful, and you can handle it.
12. Work on your Enthusiasm. Being enthusiastic will help you maintain the attitude that life is good and that you’re lucky to be alive.
13. Eliminate your Sense of Entitlement.
Stop demanding that things be handed to you. It’s up to you to get what I want. Good things come from hard work. Be adaptable to change. Keep going even when the going gets tough.
14. Visualize. When things aren’t going your way, visualize yourself succeeding and achieving your goals. Sometimes a little fake it to make it goes a long way.
15. Stop Complaining. When you complain you’re saying negative things about a person, place, or event, without offering a solution to fix the situation. Instead, start looking for solutions, remove yourself from the situation, shift your perspective, or accept what cannot be changed.
16. Be Curious. Curiosity is to be open to what you can learn from any situation. Curiosity gives you a present-moment orientation, which is similar to mindfulness, and allows you to experience it more fully. Curiosity will help you approach uncertainty in your daily life with a positive attitude.
17. Surround Yourself with Others with Positive Attitudes. A positive attitude is contagious.
18. Practice Gratitude. If you need an attitude lift simply think of all the things that you have to be grateful for. Gratitude is when we feel or express thankfulness for the people, things, and experiences we have. When we are grateful for the little things in our day-to-day lives, we find more meaning and satisfaction in our lives. Being grateful improves your health, your mood, your relationships, and your career satisfaction.
19. Savor the good moments. Too often we don’t celebrate the good moments pass. We don’t stop to notice and appreciate the small pleasures in life, thus taking them for granted. Savoring means holding onto the good thoughts and emotions we have.
20. Smile and try humor. Cracking a smile can be an instant mood booster and can shift your perspective on whatever obstacle you are dealing with and make you feel happier and more optimistic about what’s to come. Smiling releases endorphins and serotonin, also known as the feel-good hormones. Try thinking of a happy memory or the last thing that made laugh or smile. You can also infuse small bursts of positive emotion by, for example, watching a positive or fun video. People who know how to laugh at themselves and at life’s absurdities have great attitudes. Your sense of humor is a powerful tool that can be used to lift your mood and enhance your emotional state at any time. When something goes wrong, ask yourself, “What’s funny about this?”
21. Stop minimizing your successes. We have this bad habit of downplaying our successes and not fully appreciating our wins. This fails to recognize the effort that you put in. Give yourself some credit! Take note of your wins. And for every small win, celebrate a little bit.
22. Stop all-or-nothing thinking or thinking in terms of “shoulds.” All-or-nothing thinking is when we view a situation as all good or all bad. Thinking in terms of “should,” and how certain things should be, can lead to disappointment.
23. Meditate. People who meditate daily display more positive emotions than those who do not. They build valuable long–term skills including increased mindfulness, purpose in life, social support, and decreased illness symptoms.
24. Write or Journal. Write down our positive experience each day. It gives you an opportunity to reflect and savor. This can raise mood levels and self-esteem.
25. Play. Schedule time to play, relax and have adventures just as we schedule meetings, conference calls, weekly events, and other responsibilities into our daily calendars. Give yourself permission to experience the contentment and joy, and exploration of new things that come from play.
26. Get in a workout. Exercise can boost mood and happiness levels, gain clarity, and make you feel more relaxed and less anxious overall. Find an activity that works for you and that is enjoyable so you stick with it.
27. Get enough Sleep. Insomnia results in much higher rates of depression and anxiety. Getting enough sleep helps to maintain hormone levels that will contribute to a positive attitude, such as serotonin and dopamine. Take a nap if you need to.
28. Help Others. When you’re feeling down about yourself, it’s easy to put things in proper perspective when you consider how you stand compared to others who may be suffering or are worse off. It can also get your focus outside of yourself.
Even if you are a natural-born optimist, positive thinking can take effort in the face of challenging situations. Like any goal, the key is to stick with it for the long-term. Even if you find yourself dwelling on negative thoughts, you can look for ways to minimize negative self-talk and cultivate a more optimistic outlook.
Remember that to think positively, you need to nurture yourself. Knowing that perspectives can change based on personal control is powerful, so work towards striving for positivity as much as possible
