Holiday Gift Giving and Health
It’s that time again – time to think about gifts that you might give for the holidays. You have probably already started thinking about what you’d like to give (If you haven’t, you should read this blog on procrastination), but you might not have given any thought to the value of gift giving to your own psychological health. Yes, Merriam-Webster defines altruism as an “unselfish regard for or devotion to the welfare of others.”
It’s derivative, the Latin ‘alteri’ meaning ‘other people.’ But, philosophers and psychologist have long regarded altruistic acts as, in part, self-serving. That’s right, something as altruistic as gift giving benefits you too!
1. Gift giving is a ritual and rituals create memories.
We all want to be remembered. Have you ever heard a parent say (or said), “I want this to be the Christmas my child remembers forever.” It’s natural and affirming when we are remembered. Rituals provide us with cognitive structures on which we can attach memories; therefore, rituals (especially those with lots of emotion) create distinct memories.
Consider your childhood. What was your holiday celebration like when you were 6 years old? If you’re like most, you probably can’t recall the details of that, particular, celebration. However, you probably can recall the rituals that were associated with celebrating the holidays (i.e., “We always made homemade pizza on New Year’s Eve.”). Because gift giving is a major part of many people’s holiday ritual, it strengthens holiday memories.
As an aside, remember that the ritual you establish around gift giving is more likely to be remembered than the gifts themselves. So, take a deep breath and enjoy the process!
2. Gift giving is an opportunity to think about others and reflect.
A key to strong relationships is considering the other person; but, this isn’t possible without making an effort to do so. We often need practice and reminders to think about our loved ones and reflect on our efforts to fulfill them.
Gift giving does just that – it allows us to reflect on ourselves and the wants/needs of our loved ones. Socrates argued that self-reflection allowed people to resolve conflict in their thoughts. Today, many professions teach the value of self-reflection to identify errors and gain a more complete understanding of the situation.
If you’re looking for a New Year’s Resolution, you might even consider ways to be more self-reflective throughout the year. If you’re not, don’t forget to think about others and reflect while you are shopping for those perfect gifts. Be sure to read this post on other approaches to the new year.
3. Making choices is empowering.
Let’s face it, you make a lot of choices to buy gifts. For whom will you buy gifts? What do they like? How much will you spend? Where will you shop? Because gift giving involves so many choices, the buyer often feels empowered. The more reflective you are about the receiver’s wants, the more empowered you are likely to feel in the gift choices you make.
4. Gift giving is good for our self-esteem.
You’ve probably heard of a “helpers high.” The term refers to the euphoric feeling that is usually associated with doing something for others. We feel generous and in control, which ultimately improves self-esteem. The altruistic process is also cyclical – kinder people report being happier and happier people are more kind, and so on.
5. Gift giving benefits relationships.
Gifts can be an important mechanism to demonstrate love. In his book, The 5 Love Languages, Gary Chapman identifies receiving gifts as the most powerful act of love for some people. That’s right, giving and receiving gifts is a more powerful act of love for some than speaking/hearing the words, “I love you” or spending quality time at the park. Most agree that loving relationships (romantic, family, friends, co-workers, etc) are a key component to a fulfilling life.
On the broader level, demonstrating care for others (through gift giving or other actions) serves to maintain and build the social rules and fabric that protect us, sustain us, and provide a sense of meaning. Altruistic acts indicate to others that you have a desire to cooperate, have resources to give, and, thereby, have the capacity to build relationships. They also create a “debt account” that encourages others to provide care in return.
This holiday season, enjoy the benefits that gift giving can provide to your mental health. Gift giving is certainly generous and worthwhile, and as a direct result, it has the potential to benefit everyone! And while you’re busy giving gifts to others (and, thereby, helping yourself), don’t forget to take care of yourself in other ways too.
