Anxiety Coping Strategies
Anxiety is a core emotion that manifests in a variety of ways, from physical sensations of hyperarousal and panic to spiraling thoughts of dread and doom. It’s an issue that many of my Chicago Lakeview clients talk about during sessions.
Originally, this ancient emotion had our best intentions in mind. It protected us from frequent danger in our environment. Unfortunately for modern-day humans who experience significantly fewer everyday threats, if we are not deliberate and aware of how to manage our anxiety, we can become lost in the weeds and fearful of situations that pose no tangible threat.
The truth is, feelings of anxiety and worst-case-scenario thoughts that pop up when we are in the depths of an anxiety spiral cannot actually harm us. While anxiety is often extremely unpleasant, we struggle to distinguish whether the threat is credible because we are so accustomed to equating those anxiety symptoms with real danger.
One of the most common thoughts associated with feelings of anxiety is the thought that we are out of control. The more we are able to prove to ourselves that we can regulate our own emotions, the more control we will regularly feel.
Below is a brief list of reputable approaches to manage your stress and anxiety in your day-to-day and gain more control of your life. Do-It-Yourself interventions are not necessarily a substitute for therapy, and there are numerous benefits to a weekly session with a therapist who can assist you in managing and decreasing your anxiety sustainably. However, it is empowering and reassuring to know that we can practice techniques to take control over our emotions.
1 Validate the emotion. How can we begin to help ourselves if we cannot even acknowledge the problem at hand? I encourage you to try and normalize your anxiety, explore where it came from, and check the facts around whether the anxiety is helping you cope with your present moment concerns.
Some potential grounding phrases you could tell yourself would be “anyone would feel that way” or “it makes sense that I would be anxious about this based on the circumstances.” We are not agreeing with or approving of the distress we are experiencing, just observing which emotions are present and recognizing them for what they are.
In contrast, a surefire way to increase our anxiety is to ignore it, minimize it, and convince ourselves it should not be there. Some stress can certainly be productive and important for our functioning. We need fear to survive and stress to remind us what is worth working hard to maintain in our lives. Determining whether our anxiety and stress are helpful for our goals or not is a crucial first step in deciding how to address our emotions.
2 Be Mindful. To be mindful is essentially to be aware of the present moment. A key pillar of practicing mindfulness is nonattachment. This is easier said than done, but it is possible with practice to isolate your anxiety-inducing thoughts and let go of them sooner. When we attach to an anxious thought, we are actually engaging in a behavior. For example, if you are used to piling on the negative self-judgments whenever you make a mistake, try to decrease the frequency and intensity of that behavior by seeing if you can narrow down this rumination to simply experiencing it as an initial thought.
You can use mindfulness anywhere and anytime. You can practice having a more mindful conversation with your friends, or try to increase awareness while completing your morning routine. You do not need to have a formal meditation exercise to practice honing in on what you are thinking or feeling in the moment. Sometimes, a visualization can be helpful to pair with this approach, such as putting a “worry thought” on a leaf and watching it drift away on a stream. Another approach could be to try tuning into your thoughts and labeling them as simply “thoughts,” rather than facts that dictate your entire reality. Remember to be patient with yourself when using this approach, as it takes time and practice to literally retrain your brain!
3 Use physical interventions to manage sensations of anxiety, such as grounding techniques. There are many different approaches that can work for this, and will often depend on how or where in your body you are experiencing anxiety. While recently popular techniques, like using a fidget spinner, can provide relief, they are not always practical to use in situations where you may need to maintain professionalism or where you simply do not have access to all of your belongings.
A great cluster of options to have in your back pocket are breathing techniques because they are “prop-less.” We are always able to return to our breath. Try choosing a specific number of seconds to inhale and exhale, and count as you do so in order to regulate and slow down your breathing. Some find it helpful to hold their breath between the inhale and exhale. Others may find it grounding to pair paced breathing with a soothing visualization. There are many different approaches to this seemingly basic exercise, and it may take practice to find one that is most effective for you.
Another prop-less technique is paired muscle relaxation. To use this tool, you simply begin with a muscle group, flex the “paired” muscles for as long as you would like, and then slowly release the tension. Try beginning by tensing up your feet, then working your way to your calves, thighs, and so on. The idea is to work your way through the major muscle groups in your body methodically until you feel your anxiety decrease. This is another intervention that can be used on your bus or train commute, in bed before falling asleep, or in a stressful meeting.
4 Notice your avoidance. Be aware of your “fight or flight” anxiety responses that often accompany anxiety, and take inventory of those situations, people, or objects you may be wanting to avoid. It is a completely human urge to “flee” a scenario if you experience fear associated with that situation. Unfortunately, this is often our anxiety tricking us into believing that something important to our wellbeing (such as going to the dentist or flying on a plane to visit our friend) is something to be avoided altogether.
Have you ever heard of that quote “Do one thing that scares you every day?” This is an excellent therapeutic recommendation, assuming the thing that scares you has no credible threat! When we allow emotions like anxiety to dictate our decision-making processes, we can wind up distant from our values with fear making our most important decisions. What started off as occasional discomfort in unfamiliar social settings with trusted friends could spiral into equating more and more social spaces with significant fear and dread.
Please note that if your avoidance appears to be based in a specific traumatic event, it may be best to address this more carefully and methodically with a mental health professional. More formal Exposure Therapy is effective for people whose anxiety and avoidance are significantly impacting their day-to-day functioning. However, if you are noticing mild anxiety creeping into everyday situations that you previously approached calmly, stay committed to treating it accordingly by maintaining business as usual despite your discomfort.
5 Contain your stress and anxiety. In a world where we are constantly scheduling and adding daily (virtual) meetings to our calendars, set a specific time aside to worry. By allowing yourself permission to worry, you inadvertently allow yourself permission during other parts of your day or week to more easily focus on your task at hand, whether it is work or fun.
As the anxiety-inducing thoughts pop up while you are trying to stay productive or enjoy time with friends, remind yourself that you have an appointment with these tedious anxious thoughts for thirty minutes at 6pm tomorrow evening. If you sit with your worries for long enough and allow your mind to really wander, you may even find them starting to dissipate.
6 On that note, plan ahead! This one can be particularly helpful if you struggle with anticipatory anxiety, or anxiety that builds up over time before a stress-inducing event. Imagine yourself effectively coping with your anxiety and discomfort in a specific stress-inducing scenario. Notice that I did not say imagine yourself without anxiety, but rather imagine yourself getting through the scenario alongside the anxiety.
You may find it effective to write down these details, or just repeatedly imagine yourself in the scenario. This can also be a helpful way to confront an anxiety inducing topic that you may find yourself avoiding. By more accurately being able to confront with and sit with the anxiety in the scenario, you will be better prepared to cope with and address the specific stressors when confronted with them.
I hope these approaches and techniques will be helpful in decreasing your day-to-day suffering that accompanies your anxiety.
