Are you a crossdresser in need of a therapist?

By definition crossdressing means to wear clothes that are generally associated with the gender other than the one you were assigned at birth. As a therapist in Chicago working in the city’s Lakeview area, I’ve worked with many who identify as CD.

In some ways the gender divide on clothing is arbitrary and culturally bound. At the same time, it’s the culture we live in, and crossdressing can fill a variety of needs for people.

Perhaps you like to crossdress simply because those are the clothes you feel good in!

Maybe you love the freeing feeling of a skirt, or long for the bright colors and floral patterns of a traditionally womanly blouse. Or maybe you love the way you feel in a suspender and bowtie.

Again, because of social norms and biases, many people struggle with accepting and understanding their desire to crossdress. You might be seeking counseling because of this struggle, or maybe because your romantic partner or family has a problem with your crossdressing.

One big piece of this process can be figuring out what it means for you! Here are some possible meanings that might resonate with you:

Gender identity: For some people, crossdressing can be a way to express or feel affirmed in their gender identity. Many people have grown up with a sense that you are just male or female, and that is that, but throughout history there have been people who did not fit this mold. Native Americans have historically recognized individuals who are “two-spirit” who are non-binary or agender. In modern culture, more and more people are understanding themselves to fit the labels of genderqueer or non-binary. Perhaps for you cross-dressing is a way to express and live this piece of your identity.
Comfort! Like mentioned above, perhaps the clothes are simply what you like, and that’s ok! Perhaps you’re a man who likes skirts or a woman who loves bowties, and that’s great.
Attraction or sexual reasons: For some people dominance and submission play is a sexual fantasy or source of sexual gratification. Certain gendered clothing may play into these fantasies. Some individuals who otherwise see themselves as men may enjoy sexual play where they can experience themselves as a submissive, pretty female. Other individuals may enjoy fantasies where they feel humiliated by their partner, forced to dress feminine or as a “sissy.” All of these different fantasies can absolutely be part of a healthy sex life, and a therapist can help you find safe and healthy outlets and navigate communicating these desires with your partner.

So how can therapy help?

Self-exploration! Therapy can be a great place to explore the themes above and see what cross-dressing means for you. With a sex-positive and gender-affirming therapist, you’ll have the space to explore different themes and questions in a non-judgmental setting. Your therapist might also have questions or suggestions to help you explore things you hadn’t yet considered about yourself.
Self-confidence! As mentioned earlier, cultural and societal norms can lead some people to have feelings of shame or self-hate related to their desire to wear certain clothes. A therapist can help you work through those feelings and move to a place of self-acceptance.
Support! A good therapist can be a source of support to process feelings and events throughout the week. Your therapist might also be able to help direct you to resources to help you find other accepting people and communities in your area.
Communication skills! Working with a therapist can help you learn how to communicate better with partners, friends, or family about a variety of topics, including your desire to cross-dress.
Move away from labels that people may apply to you that are inaccurate. Examples including assumptions that you identify as LGBTQ.

If you would like to learn more about how counseling can help you as a crossdresser, please send us a confidential note through our encrypted online contact form. You can also call 773.528.1777.

2nd Story Counseling – because every life has a second story