What Are You Doing?
By: Alex DeWoskin, LCSW
I can’t count the number of times I’ve told a client, “Doing nothing is doing something” when they are feeling overwhelmed or stressed. Usually, this sparks a debate. But, when our body, mind or spirit is craving a slower pace, and we honor that, then doing nothing is incredibly productive. If we know we need to take the time to charge our phone’s battery, why would we disregard recharging our own?
We live in a productivity-obsessed society. This is certainly true for people in Chicago. We feel obligated to be productive every last second of our daily lives. We’ve been taught to measure our value and worthwhileness as by how successful we are. As a result, workaholic behaviors like checking your email during off-hours or going into the office on the weekend have become normalized.
Even when we’re not working, many of us feel obliged to do something productive, be it going to the gym, running errands, going to a yoga class, or taking care of bills and other duties. But buying into these myths can eat away at our sense of self and our overall quality of life. And it certainly can destroy our health, both mental and physical. It’s not surprising that rates of depression, anxiety, and stress are increasing as the doingness of life seems to have little counterbalance.
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It’s been normalized in our culture that productivity means work, social, running around doing errands. We are told that success means money or stature. We are a work-consumed society and that has generated guilt and perceptions of laziness if we aren’t working all the time.
But productivity defined is, “doing or achieving a lot: working hard and getting good results.” That’s pretty subjective. It doesn’t tell us what to achieve or what a lot equates to. From a philosophical standpoint, it could mean “doing, at every moment, what we consciously choose to do and not what we feel we are doing forced by circumstances.” Success is more encompassing than title or salary.
It is also measured by happiness, fulfillment, work-life balance, passion, just to name a few. For those who feel doing nothing is selfish, if we don’t take care of ourselves, we won’t have the capacity to take care of other people. And if we don’t give back to ourselves, we burn out. At the end of our lives, most don’t regret not working more. Rather we regret that we worked so much and missed out on enjoying our lives.
Since our culture equates busyness with both high status and moral virtue, we think lazing about and relaxing without talking on the phone, checking emails, or consuming books, podcasts, or articles, signals to the world that we aren’t as valuable as those who have a phone that’s blowing up, as intellectually engaged as those who are constantly consuming information, or as worthy as those who always have their nose to the grindstone.
Boredom lets you know when something is wrong. When you’re constantly buzzing around, checking off your to-do list, it’s easy to ignore emotions and miss out on what that inner voice is trying to tell you. Downtime is where we return to ourselves.
How often do you do nothing? Like just sitting on the couch and staring off into space and being alone with your thoughts, completely free from distractions. If you’re anything like the average person, you’re probably thinking rarely or even never. We understand that our bodies need to rest once in a while. But we somehow expect our brains to work without pauses and that is not sustainable. Because after a while, our brains stop cooperating and time spent working then will be wasted.
Some people are uncomfortable being with themselves because the noise between in our heads gets too scary and idle time can bring on a chattering mind. This is one reason we so readily reach for the phone or a book or the computer when we do have a chance to slow down. This is actually a distraction to our relaxation.
We don’t want to hear ourselves think. Yet, it’s so important to sit and be. You can re-energize and come up with all sorts of new ideas about yourself and the world. Some of the most important philosophers had two things in abundance: idle time and solitude. This allowed them the space to think, to deeply ponder existential questions from all sorts of angles.
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Science is starting to show the value of spending time in silence, in nature, and in not engaging in constant external stimulation. We need time doing nothing to be our best selves: well-rounded and creative human beings.
All of us might be a bit happier and fulfilled if we stopped obsessively trying to make something of our talents and consciously embraced idleness instead. Doing absolutely nothing, all alone, all the time won’t likely lead to a sense of wellness any more than constant busyness. But, forgetting to chill out and do nothing can bring us just as much joy as goal-accomplishment.
When you let go, do something creative, or simply rest, you are nurturing your soul and opening yourself up to new energy and ideas waiting to flow your way. There are actual benefits of doing absolutely nothing. When you turn off all distractions, it allows space for your subconscious to expand, ultimately boosting your creativity. When you start to quiet your mind and your surroundings, you can start to feel those gut feelings coming to the surface, ultimately motivating you to make changes that better your life.
Being alone with our thoughts makes us long for a larger sense of purpose, prompting us to try challenging and meaningful activities that extend beyond our own lives. Instead of seeing this as not being productive, think of it as investing in your own wellbeing. Probably most surprising, doing nothing can even help you to be kinder.
Not all of us have the privilege and luxury of ample free time, but we can try our best to carve out just ten or so minutes each day to get quiet. Some of us need some tools to help us sit quietly by ourselves. Just ease into the process and do it when it pops in your mind at first instead of scheduling it in every single day.
Start simple, maybe laying on the floor and listening to your favorite music without doing anything else. Space out or daydream and turn off your to-do list, free of guilt that you should be doing something else. Maybe you have relaxing activities that you enjoy like drawing, cooking, sculpting, writing, or music.
Mindfulness, without judgement, can also play a role in our downtime. Just being present with our thoughts and mindful of our breath and senses. Mindfulness meditation very effective at relieving stress, building, build self-awareness, and boosting creativity and problem-solving. Noticing what’s happening in your mind when you are not doing anything is useful for understanding oneself and your relationship to others and the universe at large. If you need some guidance to explore mindfulness tools, you can also try a medication app such as Insight Timer, Headspace, or Ten Percent Happier.
Much, much more in life is achieved through balance and happiness. Doing nothing is never truly doing nothing. Doing nothing is doing something, something very important for both your wellbeing and your ongoing journey. It energizes you and returns some balance into your life. Thus, doing nothing can be very productive.
It’s medically and psychologically important. One upside is that it’s the cheapest wellness trend imaginable. The important thing is not to fight it or think I shouldn’t feel guilty about this, which can lead to feeling guilty about feeling guilty. There will be moments when you will be overscheduled to the brim, but there also should be moments where you have time to relax, sit down, read a book or do nothing.
It’s about knowing when to go fast and hard and when to go slow. Maybe the solution to the guilt is to learn to value doing nothing and relaxation. If you wait until your to-do list or work obligations are done, you’ll never find a moment to do nothing.
Take action when it is time to take action. Rest when it is time to rest.
