Egotistic Boss? Here’s Some Options
Dealing with an egotistic boss can feel like working under a spotlight that’s never on you. If you’ve ever had a boss who constantly needs praise, takes credit for your ideas, and refuses to admit when they’re wrong, you know how draining that can be. This is particularly true if your supervisor or manager is a full-on narcissist.
As a therapist in Chicago, just a few blocks from Wrigley Field, I work with a lot of professionals who feel stuck in toxic work environments like this—and they’re not just annoyed, they’re overwhelmed.
When you’re working for someone who makes everything about themselves, it’s more than just a bad vibe. It’s an emotional grind. The stress piles up in ways you don’t always notice right away: maybe you’re more tired at the end of the day, more anxious in the morning, or snapping at your partner over little things. You start to question your judgment or lose confidence in your work, even though deep down, you know you’re capable.
If that’s you, you’re not alone—and you’re definitely not overreacting.
Why is it so exhausting? Because your nervous system is stuck in overdrive. When you’re around someone who’s unpredictable, self-centered, and dismissive, your brain reads that as a threat. You’re constantly scanning for cues: Is this a good day or a bad day? Is my work going to get recognized or ignored? Am I about to be criticized in front of others again?
That kind of mental load isn’t sustainable.
So let’s talk about what you can do when you can’t change your boss—or your job—overnight.
Detach Emotionally (When You Can)
One of the best things you can do is remind yourself that your boss’s behavior is a them issue, not a you issue. Picture their ego like a storm—you can’t stop the rain, but you can carry an umbrella. Try to avoid taking their actions personally. It’s easier said than done, but with practice (and sometimes with support from a therapist), you can build that emotional buffer.
Document Your Wins
Keep a running log of what you’ve accomplished, when you completed certain projects, and any positive feedback you get (even if it’s from coworkers, not the boss). This isn’t about being paranoid—it’s about having your own back. If things get sticky down the line, or if you’re prepping for a future job search, you’ll be glad you kept receipts.
Find a Safe Place to Vent
Everyone needs somewhere to let it out. That might be a coworker you trust, a partner who “gets it,” or a therapy session in a quiet Chicago office just north of Wrigley Field (hint hint). The important thing is to process your stress so it doesn’t keep simmering under the surface.
Set Small Boundaries
You might not be able to say “no” to your boss, but you can start saying things like, “I’ll need that in writing,” or “Let’s circle back tomorrow when I’ve had time to look into it.” These small boundaries help protect your time, energy, and sanity.
Find Your People
If your workplace feels isolating, look for allies. Even just knowing one other person sees what you’re seeing can help you feel grounded. You’re not the only one dealing with this—far from it.
So how does counseling help with all this?
As a therapist in Wrigleyville who works with professionals across Chicago, I see a lot of people who come in feeling like they’re the problem. “Maybe I’m just not cut out for this,” they say. But often, the real issue is that they’ve been stuck in a power dynamic that’s been chipping away at their confidence for too long.
In therapy, we work on:
- Rebuilding your sense of self, so you stop basing your worth on your boss’s moods
- Learning how to communicate with difficult personalities without losing your cool
- Processing the stress so it doesn’t follow you home
- Exploring whether it’s time for a job change—and how to do that without burning out
Sometimes people stay in tough jobs because they feel like they have to. Other times, they’re waiting for the right opportunity to move on. Either way, therapy offers a safe space to figure out what you want, and how to make choices that support your well-being—not just your paycheck.
If you’re living or working near Wrigley Field, Lakeview, or anywhere on the North Side of Chicago and your job is taking a toll on your mental health, therapy can help you sort through it. Whether you’re trying to hang on a little longer or thinking about making a move, you don’t have to do it alone.
Ready to get support? I offer counseling for professionals dealing with burnout, toxic workplaces, and career-related anxiety—right here in the heart of Chicago’s Wrigleyville neighborhood.
Reach out for a free consultation. Let’s talk about what’s going on at work, and how we can get you feeling more in control again.
