Ever experience intrusive thoughts?
Recently, a friend of mine told me that he had just gotten back from escaping Chicago city life on a week’s long hiking trip with his partner to Colorado. On one particular trek up a mountain, there was a beautiful overlook about halfway up to the peak. A few large rocks jutted out, overlooking the horizon, and they decided that was the perfect spot to break for lunch.
They sat on the rock’s edge and let their legs dangle, enjoying the view next to another hiking duo who had also taken a quick break. Then, after a few bites into his PB&J, my friend told me he envisioned himself forcefully shoving one of his partner off the side of the mountain, letting them fall to their death.
My friend asked me if this was normal – and I told him: yes.
Of course, this violent thought is quite alarming, so I completely understood my friend’s worry about having it. He was worried that it indicated deeper relationship problems. He was shocked at the seemingly randomness of his own brain that conjured up images of himself killing total strangers – or, even more bothersome to him, killing his own partner. “I’ve never physically hurt anyone,” he said to me, “but here I was, looking out over this peaceful view, and I had this thought of murdering someone!”
The truth is: these type of thoughts are actually quite common. (Almost “normal.”) They’re known as “intrusive thoughts” and, in the majority of cases, shouldn’t be cause for worry.
Maybe you’ve had similar thoughts around Chicago. Ever been driving down Clark Street and imagined swerving into someone on the sidewalk? Or maybe had the thought of screaming in a quiet performance at the Goodman Theater?
So what are intrusive thoughts? In general, they are unwanted thoughts that suddenly enter your awareness and contain elements that are disturbing, upsetting, and inappropriate. They can take many forms with varying levels of intensity. Like my friend, these thoughts can be about yourself killing someone close to you, or they may be about flashing your teacher, jumping in front of a train, or screaming in the middle of the library. They can be very detailed and very violent. They are thoughts that you do not want to actually happen, and so they can also be very disturbing to your own peace of mind.
But, as strange as it may sound, these thoughts are just another example of the magnitude of our brains’ work ethic, moving countless thoughts and words and images through our brains at any given second, taking in the surrounding world and processing and analyzing it. An intrusive thought, like any other thought, is just that – a thought.
But, because they aren’t the most pleasant of thoughts and tend to come up at the absolute worst time, you’re probably asking, “What can I do to stop them from happening?
Well, the truth is…nothing.
We simply don’t have control over what our minds will think of at any given moment. In fact, we can often cause ourselves more distress by thinking we do. Research has shown that when you tell yourself not to think about something, it’s usually only a few seconds until you think about that particular something. For instance, if I tell you to do anything other than think about a large yellow dinosaur, I would bet that it won’t be long until you think about a large yellow dinosaur.
Intrusive thoughts work the same way. They tend to stick around when you’re trying everything you can to get rid of them. So, when these disturbing (and, again, normal) thoughts creep into your mind, the worst thing you can do is preoccupy yourself with trying to get rid of them. Instead, what you can do is allow yourself the freedom to have them and let them move effortlessly into your thoughts and, subsequently, out of your thoughts. (Practicing mindfulness can certainly aide in this approach.)
While intrusive thoughts are relatively common, it’s important to note they can become too overwhelming for some people to just let them pass easily out of their mind. Like other feelings we don’t want (anger, fear, jealousy, etc.), intrusive thinking can move from being a normal, flippant occurrence, to something that hinders our daily lives. Some intrusive thoughts are so distressing that people will go to great lengths to get rid of them or avoid them, leading to high levels of anxiety or depression or even Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.
In short, intrusive thoughts are a “thing” and are common. So if you’re a little freaked out by having one recently (like my friend), rest assured that you are not alone and there’s nothing to worry about. But, if you’ve found yourself extremely preoccupied with these thoughts or wrestling with managing them, don’t be hesitant to consider a Chicago-based therapist to help.
