Jennifer Lawal, LPC-NCC
I can still remember the eagerness, the smiles, and cheers as the clock struck midnight and we all welcomed 2020 with a toast. For many Chicagoans, we had plans for this new year, for it to be the best one yet. Remember, it was the year that marked the start of a new decade and the world was optimistic about achieving great things.
But here we are, just half-way through it, and by the time we realized that we had failed to keep yet another New Year’s resolution, the year took a drastically different direction and has left most of us in crisis mode and feeling like this could be the worst year of your lifetime. It is safe to say that this is far from the new way of life that most of us had in mind and whatever you planned probably hasn’t happened.
The wedding with all of your favorites people shoulder to shoulder, or you finally going on your first or your tenth trip overseas, getting a new job, the graduation you have been excited for, your parent turning 60; whatever it was, we have all had to default to plan D and E, and have had to adjust in a very painful and unlikely way.
This was supposed to be the beginning of a new way of life, for everybody. The future seemed bright, exciting, and full of untold potential until we were suddenly stricken with a global pandemic (aka COVID-19) that none of us saw coming. Covid-19 is not just an abstract news event happening in some distant part of the world, it is everywhere and has personally affected us, and almost everyone we know.
Whether you live in the South, West, East, or Northside of Chicago, there is one thing we can all agree on; that this year has brought most of us significant, economic, social, identity, and emotional hardship that could last a very long time. Frankly speaking, I don’t think anyone had envisioned a deadly virus spreading worldwide taking out the elderly and hospitalizing the weak. However, the past six months have contained so many world-changing, paradigm-shifting developments that it’s getting hard to believe we’re not in a simulation that’s running every possible scenario at once.
In addition to the pandemic and more than 150.000 lives and counting lost in the US, on the 25th of May, an African American man named George Floyd was killed by police officers in Minneapolis sparking mass protests around the world and a long-overdue reckoning on race. At the same time, millions of people across the country have been adversely affected by unanticipated unemployment, with higher unemployment rates among black and Hispanic workers compared with white workers.
The resurgence of anger at long-standing racism and racial inequities was added to the anxiety and tension of the pandemic, creating a combustible scene of national civil unrest. But, sadly, there’s no time to be exhausted: with a pandemic still raging, waves of social change swelling around the globe, and a whole presidential campaign going on (yes, that’s still a thing), there’s still a lot of history left to be made in 2020.
While it is hard to imagine you handling six more months of this, it is important to take a look back and remind yourself of what you’ve already weathered, and the resilience that lies within. The truth is, for all of us here at 2nd Story Counseling in Chicago, we feel the pain. We understand and know that life is really tough right now.
The COVID-19 crisis has drastically changed everyday life, and now, with all the tension in our society following the death of George Floyd, it can be a lot to handle. Anxiety and Stress can take over. Whether it’s racial tensions, civil unrest, pandemic, or economic hardships, many of us are likely feeling anxious, depressed, and isolated right now. And we want to help you cope and rebound.
Below are some simple and helpful tips for maintaining wellness, and ways to cope with anxiety and manage stress during a global pandemic and ongoing civil unrest.
- But, first…ACCEPTANCE.
While protest thoughts such as “This cannot be happening!” may initially feel productive, because such thoughts make us feel as though we are in the throes of fighting an enemy, no enemy can be defeated with denial. Turning away from a problem doesn’t make the problem disappear or change a situation, nor does it make you feel any better.
On the contrary, repetitive protest thoughts distract you from gaining greater self-awareness, thinking of ways to solve problems, and taking action. When engaged in combat with an external threat like COVID-19, and the calls for racial equity and reckoning that All lives do not matter until all persons of color, more importantly, Black Lives, and Black Trans Lives Matter; acceptance not only can dramatically reduce distress, it can literally make us safer. For example, constantly fighting against reality prevents us from practicing behaviors that reduce the risk of infection, such as social distancing.
Once we accept that the crisis is happening, we are much more likely to engage in such potentially life-saving behaviors. Not to forget that reaching acceptance is also powerful because it leads us to discover what we can control. Lack of control, fear, and worries gives way to anxiety. If we let go of trying to control the world or our automatic emotional responses, we can reach more comforts and supports through adaptive thoughts, rather than in a state of surviving anxiety that is associated with going back to “normal.”
- Give Yourself Permission to Feel.
So much of 2020 has been a steady stream of emotional overload. Even with more than six months in, you’re likely to be experiencing emotions you didn’t know you had or emotions on a new level. Prior to the pandemic, more than 20 percent of Americans had symptoms of depression or anxiety, and researchers estimated that number has more than tripled since the start of the pandemic.
To be honest, the pandemic sparked a climate of anxiety resulting in many people experiencing feelings of powerlessness, uncertainly, and loss. It is important to know that the anxiety, emotions and the stress you’re experiencing are absolutely appropriate given the time that we’re living in. For some, dealing with the stress of confinement and isolation due to the pandemic felt manageable. However; for others the civil unrest due to the recent killings of George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, Ahmaud Arbery, Dominique “Rem’Mie” Fells, etc., and even the incident with Amy Cooper – all these things have been triggering for many.
That said, it is OK to be gentle with yourself and give yourself permission to honor all your losses without allowing yourself to think, “It could be worse” or “others have it worse.” It is okay to be sad that you missed a planned vacation or be upset your gym is still closed even though others are risking their health and safety.
- Prioritizing Self-Care
In the new age of endless zoom meetings and virtual sessions/classes, anxiety and stress are running high; therefore, it is important to stay mindful about prioritizing yourself. While this is easier said than done, and we would all like to remain informed, limiting the time you listen to news about the pandemic and instead participate in healthy and uplifting activities can feel empowering and help reduce anxiety.
Given that stress can impact many parts of our bodies, and can cause shortness of breath, sore muscles, and even fatigue; to avoid these side effects, it’s important to take care of your body by engaging in deep breathing exercises, meditation and reconnecting with nature when possible. It is also important to engage in a lifestyle and routines that encourage resilience and a healthy balance between work and home life.
Lastly, realize that as humans, we have a naturally resilient nature and can harness this innate ability to rise above adversity. Prioritizing self-care and establishing healthy psychological habits can reduce negative stress reactions and help you more easily adjust to whatever the post-pandemic normal will look like.
- Find and Use Your Support
One of the first steps to knowing how to cope and deal with a deadly pandemic of this magnitude and reoccurring racial trauma is to first identify how these experiences are impacting you personally. Yes, everyone reacts to stressful situations differently, but data shows that how you respond to stress during the pandemic can depend on your background, your support from family or friends, your financial situation, your health and emotional background, the community you live in, and many other factors.
Finding and leaning on your main support groups and taking care of your friends and family can be a stress reliever. During times of increased social distancing, you can still maintain social connections by making regular phone calls, video chats with those in your community.
Doing these can help you feel socially connected, less lonely, or isolated. For individuals who have emotional reactions to ongoing everyday injustices, seeking out support, spaces and communities that are validating, ones that will make you feel better and allow you to be vulnerable, may be helpful in relieving stress and anxiety.
- Talk to a Therapist and be Open
Finally, keep in mind that individuals with pre-existing mental health conditions may respond more strongly to stressful situations. Therefore, it is important to consider talking to a therapist if you feel overwhelmed by your emotions and rely on someone to help make sense of your reactions.
Even though some of the symptoms or struggles you’re experiencing right now can be explained by the unusual stress you’re under, it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t talk to someone. Talking to a therapist now might prevent you from developing a full-blown mental health issue later and may also help relieve some of the distress you’re experiencing.
Be open with your therapist on how you are feeling and the toll the last few months have taken on you. As a therapist, maintaining your mental health and well-being is an important aspect of my job. Thus, while life is slowly returning to “normal,” you don’t need to wait until you have a serious problem to get help. The majority of our Therapists here are still providing virtual telehealth and in-person sessions to help suit your emotional needs.
