Are you a perfectionist in Chicago?
Perfectionism consists of leaning toward high standards and expectations that are extremely difficult to reach or simply cannot be met. When captured by perfectionism anything short of perfect is upsetting, and that even minor imperfections will lead to disaster or devastation. It’s a common condition for many in Chicago.
At its core this type of situation can be categorized as all or nothing thinking. Often all or nothing thinking can be connected to feeling unproductive, increased stress & anxiety, depression, frustration, disappointment, and regret.
What does perfectionist thinking look like?
When Perfectionism is in full effect at work, we have thoughts like:
- I want to do better than anyone ’
- I must be the best at everything I do.
- It is my
- I want to make (insert important figure) proud.
- If my work is perfect nothing bad will happen.
- I want my superiors to like me.
- I should never make mistakes
- I should never come across as nervous or anxious
- My boss will think I am lazy if I take a couple of sick days.
- If my work is perfect only good things will happen.
- I want to earn a bunch more.
- I should always be able to predict problems before they occur
- I could not survive making a mistake in front of my
- I want to be respected/acknowledged
- What if I cannot?
- Although I spent all night preparing for a presentation, I know I will not do well.
What are some signs I am engaging in perfectionist behavior/thinking?
- Procrastination, waiting for the right moment.
- Little satisfaction when you do achieve your desired goal.
- Spending excessive amounts of time attempting to make something perfect.
- Seeing mistakes where others do not.
- It is all about the outcome.
- Mistakes are extremely overwhelming.
- Avoiding new things for fear of mistakes.
- Things need to be done a very specific way.
- Get depressed when you do not meet your
- I write extensive
- I work 13-hour days.
- Others have said my standards are too high.
- You often feel angry, frustrated, anxious, depressed.
How does perfectionism hurt?
When mistakes are unacceptable, it is almost impossible to get anything done. It is hard to be motivated to do anything if we are worried about not being able to do it perfectly. One study found that people who procrastinate are most likely to be a perfectionist. Perfectionism can have us become workaholics, and that puts us at risk for burnout, increase stress and fatigue.
Perfectionism hurts when we…
- Care too much what other people think.
- Don’t find success as enough and are never truly fulfilled.
- Get lost in the details.
- Find it difficulty to live in the moment and experience life fully.
- Are constantly comparing our experiences and circumstances to others.
- Feel like any mistake is devastating.
- Punish ourselves.
- Feel guilty, hurt, sadness, shame, fearful about our work.
- Are not of worth if our work is not perfect.
- Think we will never be good enough.
- Cannot truly accept and believe compliments or take joy in our success.
How can therapy help me deal with Perfectionism?
Perfectionism as a whole is increasing. It is important to seek help if you feel perfectionism has taken over your life. You are not alone and seeking out a therapist may be the key to conquering the impact perfection is having on your life.
Therapy can help replace perfectionist thinking with more self-serving thinking like:
- No one is perfect!
- My best is all I can do
- It is okay if my coworkers do not like me. No one is liked by everyone!
Encourage you to question your thinking:
- Does it matter?
- If the worst did happen, could I survive it? Have I survived worse?
- Will this still matter in the future? Next week? Next month? Next year?
Therapy can teach you how to find hope in compromise. Compromise can help you move away from black and white thinking and find space to be fulfilled in the gray.
You may be able to learn to be okay with some level of imperfection, and push past procrastination, minimize comparing yourself with and competing with those around you.
You can also find help managing excessive behaviors like repeatedly checking your work over and over again. You can learn the tools to cope with your perfectionism holistically.
