By: Costa Provis, LCPC, NBCCH, CPC
Quick Self-Discipline Hacks
Discipline does not have to be as elusive as you may think. Let me start by saying that simple does not necessarily mean easy, but by simplifying your approach you can truly be a highly disciplined person. The word discipline always makes me think of a line from the poem “Invictus” by William Ernest Henley that says “I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul.”
Discipline is the vehicle that allows you to be in control of your own life; to be the captain of your ship. It is a powerful thing. It’s what separates those who can withstand challenges, and those who give up when things get tough. Discipline is a choice. It is a choice not to succumb to immediate gratification (or relief) but rather to delay gratification for something greater.
You don’t have to be a super-hero, you just have to make good choices. Discipline is an internal process. It is a mindset that does not require outside help or influence. In this way, discipline is up to you! Just make the choice.
As a therapist in Chicago, I can tell you that some of my clients confuse this with motivation; very often a client will ask me to help them increase their motivation and I always say the same thing: Motivation is a fleeting, emotional experience; what you’re looking for is called self-discipline.
I see motivation a lot like an ocean wave – it is temporary and usually ends with a “crash” – then there is nothing left to do except wait for the next wave to come along. Being motivated, therefore, is just a reaction to a fleeting, temporary emotional condition. Motivation is a reaction, not a choice. It is outside of your control.
I mean shoot, even a good song can give you a spurt of motivation, right? And did I mention it doesn’t last long! It is an attempt to try to feel like doing something. But then when the wave crashes, you can be left feeling as though you have failed, instead of experiencing an achievement.
So, how can you avoid falling into this emotional cycle? How can you be a highly disciplined person? As the title suggests, I want to give you 3 simple things to do which will greatly improve your discipline.
Step One: Stick to a Schedule
Having a goal is important, but the goal itself is useless without the drive to achieve it. Breaking that goal down into small steps which are individually able to be scheduled is a critical component to success and achievement. Create your schedule and this will become your “system” or your daily grind.
Once you have developed your system you can become self-accountable. Does this sound like you: when your boss gives you a deadline you are great at achieving that goal?
However, for some reason, when you give yourself deadlines or timeframes, it is very easy to ignore or change them around. It is much more difficult to stick to your own deadlines (internal) than to your boss’ deadlines (external), but have you ever wondered why? And more importantly perhaps, what is the actual impact of this lack of self-discipline?
This can send a subconscious message that your goals are not important, and your commitment is not strong. Create your schedule and build your system – and you can be self-accountable because once something is in your schedule you will simply get it done. Especially when you follow steps two and three.
Step Two: Set Yourself Up for Success
In the timeless words of Socrates, know thyself. While creating your schedule, or system, or your daily grind it is important to understand your preferences and potential limitations. Some general examples would be not to set yourself up to work out in the morning before work, if you already struggle to get up and to work on time.
Or another example might be not to only look for a new job after having had a rough day at your current job. Instead, try scheduling times that you will search for jobs and remove the emotional experience of reacting to the type of day you had. This certainly does not mean that you should lower the bar for yourself, but instead set yourself up for the best chances of success.
Instead, in the first example, you may choose to pack your workout bag and try going to the gym right after work before you go home and see your couch. This would get you into a regular routine of working out, and could even lead to getting better rest at night and ultimately improve your morning routine, getting you to work on time.
By creating and sticking to your schedule, while setting yourself up for success, you are already well on your way to being that disciplined person you have always wanted to be. There is just one more step to go.
Step Three: No Excuses
This is the ultimate bottom line. Making excuses can be very tempting in those tough moments. When quitting or procrastinating seems like the best (or easiest) option, you have to refocus on your goal and make that difficult choice towards delayed gratification. Trust the grind. Believe in your system. It feels really good to be committed to your own success, and create a positive narrative of yourself. In other words, sticking to the daily grind will give you actual reinforcement or proof that you are being successful. You are worthy of success.
By completing the daily grind you will start seeing your achievements and measuring them one small step at a time. In the short-term, you will view yourself as a self-disciplined person because you stick to your system and do the daily grind without excuses.
In the long-term, you will be achieving your goals and actually being the most successful version of yourself. You will no longer respond only to external factors, but will experience the freedom and power of being internally driven. Of actually being disciplined.
In Conclusion
These 3 simple steps will immediately change the momentum (or there lack of) in your life, making you a highly self-motivated person. By creating and sticking to a schedule, setting yourself up for optimal success, and not making excuses you will achieve any goal that you have in mind.
There are literally no limitations, because by doing the daily grind you are going to experience success while being actively engaged in achieving your goals. Talk about a win-win-win! So, what are you waiting for?
